Housefrau

Fame at last! The article about the sports day appeared on page 13 (unlucky for some) of The Argus today, together with a delightful photo of our eldest daughter. There is even a word for word quote from me Sarah Byfield. "That's not your name" I hear those of you that know me shout. Indeed, it is not entirely correct but then I do have form for this sort of thing. The only other time my name has appeared in print was my one and only cited case in the Court of Appeal. I was using my maiden name which is Thorne on that occasion. I was very nervous as you might expect appearing in the Court of Appeal against a very senior (at least 30 years call) opponent on a case their Lordships had referred to as 'very important guidance'. It was about restraining orders involving internet use no less! Anyway, my argument was partially successful and I was glowing with pride as I knew that not only would my case (and name) appear in those dusty old law reports and be there FOR EVER, but the case would also be in Archbold (criminal practitioners bible)!! When the judgment was finally printed I looked with eager excitement at the names cited in the text. Not only was I referred to as S Thorpe throughout, but to add insult to injury MR S THORPE. Oh well I know who they mean and so do my mum and dad! So I'm afraid today's misprint is just the second such misfortune to befall my unhappy name, whichever one is seems is chosen. Today's news is tomorrow's chip paper after all

Thank God that's over. Some friends and I decided it would be a good idea to arrange the sports day as ours had been cancelled due to strike action. Some how the press (local paper) got hold of 'the story' and came to take photos and interview little old me! Don't think the school, will be too thrilled, but I was at pains to point out it wasn't their fault and they were very supportive etc. Anyway, the whole thing was a bit of a fiasco. The weather held until 1pm (start time) when it decided to p*** down all over the obstacle course (which thankfully had an under the sea theme). Then everyone's toddlers decided to wade in and grab all the obstacles off the course, apart from mine who wouldn't let me put her down all day! Of course the mums just had a good chat and let the little buggers get on with it. Then half the eggs for the egg and spoon race got mashed, the rest were eaten by dogs and toddlers. The sports equipment that the school had scrupulously counted out got scattered to the four corners of the earth only to be reclaimed and scattered again. The children ended up bouncing around in a Haribo induced haze wondering why there weren't enough medals to go around (one enterprising dad turned up with a pack of 24 saying he hoped it would be more competitive next year!). If there's a strike next year I'm off on holiday. The kids had a great time though and I've now got an excuse to drink a bottle of wine and have an early night. One person's heaven is often another's hell after all

It's official, I'm obsessed with the weather forecast. My laptop has just expired on me and I'm wondering how I am going to survive without checking the bbc forecast every hour throughout the day. The computer I am on now is on the telly so no good when it's being used for back to back Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty! Just one question: if the bbc uses the met office for its information, why is the forecast so often different? Any meteorologists out there please help!! Is this what my life has become????? By the way, showers forecast for tomorrow starting at 1pm, incidently the same time as the parent organised sports day due to public sector strike (see previous blog).

Face painting at the school fete was the order of the day. Trying to persuade 5, 6 and 7 year olds that they all want butterflies (the only one I can really do) is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when they ask for Sporticus and vampires instead. Still you've gotta try and I did, only managing to stick one brush full of black paint into one kid's eye. Oh well, they are non toxic these days so I believe. Fun was had by all even if much to my eldest daughter's disappointment we won nothing in the raffle. Still both girls knackered and in bed by 6.30 tonight

Six months ago I gave up my moderately successful (I was never complained about) career at the criminal bar. Not that it was all it was cracked up to be. 5 years of training accompanied by £20k debt, followed by 10 years of slogging court to court for not much money but hey I got to wear a wig and gown and have lunch without having to remember to bring nappies, wipes, a bib and something to keep the little angels amused whilst we wait for the food that they won't eat to appear. However, I never knew where I was going to be from one day to the next, plus I regularly got landed with trials to prepare the night before which as I am sure you can imagine has its fair share of stress attached. When we had only one daughter things were just about manageable, 3 days of nursery and 2 of grandma, but then number 2 arrived and the s*** hit the fan. Especially when my eldest started school and had to be picked up initially at 12, then at 3pm. A year of juggling ensued leading inevitably to an already strained (by kids and lack of sleep etc.) marriage becoming increasingly under pressure. The only option was for us to get a nanny and pay all my hard earned cash to her (or him!!) and have someone else mold the little darlings. Then in October 2007 my husband met me for lunch and said "It's all sorted, I'm getting a pay rise so you can give up work" and puff that was it! I stopped work at Christmas and spent the next few months in a haze of organising something to do for me and adorable toddler to do everyday to stop me going stark raving bonkers. The only proviso being that our 2 year old stayed in nursery for two half days per week and my how that has saved my sanity! So on Mondays it's cleaning and nursery (hoorah), Tuesdays playgroup, Wednesdays music group, Thursdays swimming and the library and Fridays nursery. Now, I know children love routine as do I to a certain extent (bedtimes are great!) but I am beginning to understand why those interrogators at Guantanemo use the same piece of music over and over and over again to subdue their captives! I've gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. Not knowing what I'm doing from one day to the next to having each day virtually set in stone. Coupled with that I am now practically invisible. What is it about a pushchair? Perhaps its like Harry Potter's cloak without the exciting bits and a damn site less portable, oh yeah and at least Master Potter is happy to use his cloak whilst try getting my toddler into the pushchair without a packet of milky bar buttons and I'll give you a medal. Anyway, as I was saying "what am I doing?" I know I am doing the best for my children (I hope) and much of the time I am fulfilled and well aware of how lucky I am that we can afford for us to do this. So why is there that part of me that screams out "Listen, I do still have a brain, some interesting opinions on subjects other that who is your favourite Disney princess and something to SAY!" I haven't spent the last 12 years being a professional arguer for nothing! That's why I'm doing this blog. The only person who knows about this blog so far is my dear old mum (not so much of the old thank you!) and next I'll tell my best mate who is due to give up her job soon too (God save her - she's got 3 of the little blighters! They better not bloody shove us in a nice home when we're old). I wasn't going to tell my husband but I've changed my mind, if I don't feel like talking to him I could always just tell him to read my blog instead! Also he's got a blog too so it would be fun to exchange tales about our tale telling. Well I hope whoever reads this enjoys it. Time permitting I'll let you know of any exciting breaks in monotonous routines post haste. Hold the front page it's the school fair on Sunday when I'll be face painting (ha!). But next Wednesday's highlight (reception sports day) is now cancelled - bloody teachers on strike retro 80's style!!